Watch what you s-a-y.

Mia is the first child that I've been around consistently while she is learning how to talk. You really have to be careful about what you say, and especially around Mia. I may be biased...I mean, I know everybody thinks that their child is the smartest child on earth, but they're wrong, Mia is.

At first, we were able to get away with just spelling a word here or there.

"If it doesn't rain, you can take her to p-o-o-l."
"There's i-c-e c-r-e-a-m in the freezer if she finishes her dinner."
"There are stickers in the kitchen if she p-o-o-p-s."

But before long, she could understand what we were saying anyway, so our conversations started to sound more like this:

"If it doesn't r-a-i-n today, you can t-a-k-e her t-o the p-o-o-l."
"Do you want us to e-a-t l-u-n-c-h there?"
"Sure, if she b-e-h-a-v-e-s, but she hasn't p-o-o-p-e-d t-o-d-a-y, so don't let her h-a-v-e d-e-s-s-e-r-t unless she g-o-e-s."
"...o-k-a-y."

I think it would probably be easier if we both just learned Japanese. I'm just waiting for the day when Mia looks at us and says, "I know what you're s-a-y-i-n-g."

Aside from spelling, I've also come up with creative ways to cover accidentally using words she probably shouldn't repeat..."no, not 'sucks' Mia, 'socks'..."

What is it that makes a child pick out the one word you don't want them to repeat and immediately say it?

I can just imagine Mia in highschool...

"Man, this socks..."
"What the help?"
or "Ship, I forgot my homework!"

Mia's newest thing is asking, "what's funny?" every time somebody laughs.
The other night at the dinner table she made one of those dead giveaway faces so I asked her, "Mia, do you need to go poo poo?"
She looked right at me, wrinkled up her little nose and said, "no, it's just a little gas."

Well, help yes I laughed...
So I get, "What's funny, Brooksie?" from this sweet little gassy baby.
How do you get out of that one?

I just told her she was just the cutest little girl in the world and that I loved her. Apparently spelling and foreign languages aren't always the most effective nannying tools.

But if anyone knows a good Japanese tutor, let me know.

Die, Barney.

Two things happen when you spend all of your time with a 2 year old.

1) You get really excited anytime anybody goes poo poo on the potty.
2) You become very hostile towards fictional t.v. characters.

When I first started taking care of Mia, the only thing she would watch on t.v. was Barney. We really don't watch that much t.v., but an hour a day really starts to add up...
At first it wasn't so bad, the songs are kind of catchy and Mia was so cute singing and dancing along. But after a couple of months...the songs weren't so cute anymore. Towards the end, I would just sit on the couch, clenching my teeth with a look of disgust on my face.

I hate that stupid, purple dinosaur. I'm sorry, but I still can't brush my teeth without that damn toothbrush song popping into my head...

"...but while I'm brushing my teeth and having so much fun, I never let the water run, NO, I never let the water run!"

I couldn't take it anymore.

The day Mia suggested we watch a different show was one of the happiest days of my life. YES, Mia, we can absolutely watch Max and Ruby! I LOVE that show! I love how Max only says one word throughout the entire show over and over and over again and Ruby always misunderstands him, but at the end the story comes full circle and Max's word makes total sense. Classic!

Unfortunately...the honeymoon period didn't last very long. Now it's like, "Ruby, you stupid bunny brat, just listen to Max!" I mean, Jesus, if she'd just listen to her brother her life would be a helluva lot easier...and she wouldn't waste all of that time looking for her stuff.

And don't even get me started on Dora the Explorer...
I cannot watch that show without responding to her questions like an idiot. But Mia never answers her and I just feel stupid when she stares at you with that blank look on her face waiting for you to say something...
I'm just waiting for the day when Mia turns to me and says, "Brooksie, Dora's on t.v...she can't hear you...estúpido."
The other day Dora was playing stop-and-go, and you had to say verde or rojo. So I said, "See, Mia, 'verde', that means green." and she looked right at me and said, "yeah...and red is rojo."

Now we're onto The Backyardigans and I am happy to report that we are still in the honeymoon phase. I love all of the songs they sing, they're funny, and they do these awesome choreographed dances...it's like Dancing with the Stars for toddlers!
I really think this one might be the one. I think we might make it.

Unless they sing a toothbrush song. If they sing a toothbrush song, we're done.

I'm not a babysitter...

"So, Brooks, what do you do?"
It's the question I dread almost as much as, "So, Brooks, are you seeing anyone special?"
As a single, newly graduated, 24 year old, I suppose neither is a very uncommon question...and at least the former isn't followed by, "...because I have a son/grandson/friend/neighbor/gardener who is single..."
But the answer is I am a nanny.
Depending on who I am talking to, I get a range of reactions. Sometimes I take the time to qualify my answer by explaining that I am an artist, and that until I can afford to fulfill my dream of opening my own store of local handmade things, I need a way to pay the bills. Of course, sometimes I feel like saying, "Wipe that smug look off your face, you judgmental ass, I have a BA in History, I studied art in Italy, and I started my own jewelry design business when I was 20."
But, usually I just smile and nod, because I love what I do. I've been taking care of small children since I was twelve. It's what I do. If I had a business card for nannying that I handed out to mothers, the tagline would read, "...because I've been taking care of babies longer than you have."

For the last year I've been taking care of Mia, an incredibly adorable (and extremely precocious) 2 year old. I can't tell you how many times I've been out and about with her and she is recognized. Once we were on a walk and 2 young, good looking men out jogging separately passed us and said, "hi Mia!" The child sees more action than I do. She now has a 4 month old baby sister, Lucy, and I love them both dearly.
Mia, along with the rest of the family now, calls me Brooksie. Lately I've started referring to myself as Brooksie in the third person..."Brooksie will get it," "Mia, you wait here, Brooksie will be right back," "Brooksie has to go get Lucy," "Brooksie will turn on a show for you, go sit on the couch."
Unfortunately, it has been slipping into my everyday conversations lately...I am just waiting for the day when I'm on a date and say, "You wait here, Brooksie has to go to the potty."
I have a feeling that that coupled with the fact that I have 2 car seats in my car at all times is going to do wonders for my love life.

I wonder if that gardener is still single...