The Elf on the Shelf

I'm a bit sad tonight because I won't get to see Mia on Christmas morning tomorow...
Mia's mom told me that when they were hanging up their stockings, Mia asked where mine was...

It's not just because I love her so much though, it's just so easy for me to imagine what it's going to be like...it's going to be so much fun. She could not be at a more perfect stage for Santa Claus.

Which reminds me, have any of you heard of The Elf on the Shelf? It has got to be the most ingenious idea for toddlers at Christmas ever. It's a small little elf, a "scout" elf of Santa's, that (obviously) sits on the shelf. He watches you all day long, and then each night goes home to the North Pole and tells Santa whether or not you behaved that day. So, each morning, the elf is in a new spot.

I. love. this. thing.

The first thing you're supposed to do when he arrives is give him a name. Mia, still devoted to The Backyardigans, named her elf Tyrone...

Yes, Tyrone.

So the first thing Mia says when she wakes up now is, "where's Tyroney?!"
This is why I'm so sad that I'm missing Christmas morning and how I know it's going to be so fun...she is so stinking cute with this elf. You can hear her racing around the house until you hear,

"THERE HE IS!"

It's not just cute though, it's like a million times more effective than Santa for good behavior. I can't tell you how many times I've said, "Mia, I hope Tyrone can't hear you..." or "I hope Tyrone didn't just see you do that..."
There's a flash of recognition in her eyes, her bottom lip puckers out and she whispers, "is he going to tell Santa?"

It's hard enough to keep a stern face when I talk about Tyroney, but add the bottom lip and forget about it.
I really don't think she could be any cuter...

So tonight I wish you all lots of love from people who think your stocking should be hanging with theirs...

Merry Christmas from Brooksie and Tyrone.

Merry Christmas to All...

I decided to take Mia downtown to see the big Christmas tree this week. I was really excited about it. Then again I get pretty excited about anything related to Christmas. I've watched White Christmas 7 or 8 times since Thanksgiving.

So, one morning after we had breakfast at a diner near my house, Mia and I headed downtown.

I love driving anywhere with Mia. She loves Taylor Swift. Imagine a 2 year old sitting in her car seat singing all of the words to Love Story.

"You be the prince, and I'll be the princess, it's a love story, baby just say yes!"

It's just about the cutest thing in the world. It wasn't too long ago that I really didn't think it mattered what music I played in the car...then I had to tell her mom that her baby knew most of the words to the new Killers album.

Well, we got downtown and I had to park in a pay-by-the-hour parking lot. So before getting Mia, my purse, and her bag with a change of clothes in it out of the car, I stuck my parking ticket in my overhead visor.

On our way to the Christmas tree, I saw that we were going to have to walk by an old man playing his guitar on the sidewalk. I'm sad to say that my first reaction to this was annoyance. Here I am carrying 2 bags, trying to hold onto a 2 year old's hand as she runs screaming towards a giant Christmas tree, and I have to feel guilty walking by this man who expects me to stop, put everything down, and search through my bag for change.

Just past the man with the guitar I noticed a kiosk that had a sign that said, "PAY FOR PARKING HERE"
I. don't. believe. this.
I have to pay for parking here? I left my parking ticket in the car...surely you can pay for it on your way out of the lot...
As Mia dragged me by I strained to see if there was something that said, "You can also pay on your way out of the lot!"
But no such luck.

Well, we saw the tree, which was great except that she was more interested in playing on the escalators inside. But she was also very excited to see the tree, and we had a lot of fun. Except that the entire time I was trying to decide whether or not I should chance loading Mia into the car only to have to walk back to the damn kiosk with my parking ticket.

So, I decided to just get the ticket and come back to the damn kiosk. It was nearing nap time and I didn't want to deal with buckling Mia in twice...she wouldn't understand. Of course, that meant we had to walk out to the car past the man playing guitar, get the ticket, walk back to the kiosk past the man playing guitar, put $1 on my credit card because the machine didn't take coins, then walk back to the car past the man playing guitar. Turns out Mia didn't understand this either. As we were walking back from the car, a woman who was putting up garland saw us and said,

"Did you just go back to your car to get your ticket?! You can pay for it on your way out of the lot..."

I just smiled and nodded...I was about to lose it.

As we walked past the man playing guitar again and again and again, my guilt growing, Mia kept trying to pull me towards him. While I was waiting for the damn kiosk to print out my reciept for $1 I finally heard how beautiful his voice was. I looked down at Mia who was watching this man, listening to him sing "Joy to the World" and my annoyance faded away. I put down my bags, searched through my wallet and gave Mia as many coins as would fit into her little hands. She walked up to him and put the coins into his guitar case. He looked down at her, smiled and said, "Merry Christmas little lady," and she smiled at him and said, "Merry Christmas!"

I hope I teach her as much as she teaches me.

...and to all a good night.

Okay, first, I should apologize for my post being late, I know it was hard for you.

Mia Moo's family went out of town for Thanksgiving so I didn't have to work this week and I guess I got lazy.
I really didn't know what to do with myself all week...no diapers to change, no Nick Jr. On Demand, nobody to fix a grilled cheese for at 5 p.m...
Luckily, I have about a billion cousins and a lot of their birthdays are in November so I actually did stay pretty busy.

I'm not really sure what to write about this week since I didn't see the Moo at all...

I guess I could tell you about how last week when we ordered pizza for dinner Mia asked,
"Brooksie, who was that man?"
"What man, sweetie?"
"That man who brought the pizza..."
"Well, that's the pizza man, he brings people their pizzas from the restaurant where they make it..."
"Oh...maybe I could be a pizza man when I grow up!"

Now when you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up she says,
"...a pizza man or a doctor."

Or I could tell you about Pauly, a 2 year old who comes to the nursery where I also work part-time and who runs around making explosion noises (which, by the way, I am convinced all little boys are born knowing how to make...) and singing the theme from Indiana Jones. Or how the other day he asked me if I knew Michael Jackson and then did the moon walk and sang Smooth Criminal to another little girl at the nursery...Annie ("are you okay, are you okay, Annie?")

Or another little girl at the nursery who was doing animal noises, (you know the drill, "What does a cow say? -moo. What does a doggy say? -rough rough" etc.) and, when asked what an elephant says, thought about it for a second, raised her little arm up for a trunk, and using her hand as a mouth said, "hey, you, give me a peanut."

Or how when I pick up Mia from school she always turns to the teacher and says,
"That's not my mommy...that's Brooksie." Or how today when I picked her up she ran and jumped in my arms and hugged my neck and told me she'd missed me. Or how when I ask her how much she loves me she replies very dryly,

"a lot."

I could tell you that between the awesome work schedule, the laughter, and all the love that I think everyone should be a nanny...

But, I don't know, I can't decide.

What do you think?

Watch what you s-a-y.

Mia is the first child that I've been around consistently while she is learning how to talk. You really have to be careful about what you say, and especially around Mia. I may be biased...I mean, I know everybody thinks that their child is the smartest child on earth, but they're wrong, Mia is.

At first, we were able to get away with just spelling a word here or there.

"If it doesn't rain, you can take her to p-o-o-l."
"There's i-c-e c-r-e-a-m in the freezer if she finishes her dinner."
"There are stickers in the kitchen if she p-o-o-p-s."

But before long, she could understand what we were saying anyway, so our conversations started to sound more like this:

"If it doesn't r-a-i-n today, you can t-a-k-e her t-o the p-o-o-l."
"Do you want us to e-a-t l-u-n-c-h there?"
"Sure, if she b-e-h-a-v-e-s, but she hasn't p-o-o-p-e-d t-o-d-a-y, so don't let her h-a-v-e d-e-s-s-e-r-t unless she g-o-e-s."
"...o-k-a-y."

I think it would probably be easier if we both just learned Japanese. I'm just waiting for the day when Mia looks at us and says, "I know what you're s-a-y-i-n-g."

Aside from spelling, I've also come up with creative ways to cover accidentally using words she probably shouldn't repeat..."no, not 'sucks' Mia, 'socks'..."

What is it that makes a child pick out the one word you don't want them to repeat and immediately say it?

I can just imagine Mia in highschool...

"Man, this socks..."
"What the help?"
or "Ship, I forgot my homework!"

Mia's newest thing is asking, "what's funny?" every time somebody laughs.
The other night at the dinner table she made one of those dead giveaway faces so I asked her, "Mia, do you need to go poo poo?"
She looked right at me, wrinkled up her little nose and said, "no, it's just a little gas."

Well, help yes I laughed...
So I get, "What's funny, Brooksie?" from this sweet little gassy baby.
How do you get out of that one?

I just told her she was just the cutest little girl in the world and that I loved her. Apparently spelling and foreign languages aren't always the most effective nannying tools.

But if anyone knows a good Japanese tutor, let me know.

Die, Barney.

Two things happen when you spend all of your time with a 2 year old.

1) You get really excited anytime anybody goes poo poo on the potty.
2) You become very hostile towards fictional t.v. characters.

When I first started taking care of Mia, the only thing she would watch on t.v. was Barney. We really don't watch that much t.v., but an hour a day really starts to add up...
At first it wasn't so bad, the songs are kind of catchy and Mia was so cute singing and dancing along. But after a couple of months...the songs weren't so cute anymore. Towards the end, I would just sit on the couch, clenching my teeth with a look of disgust on my face.

I hate that stupid, purple dinosaur. I'm sorry, but I still can't brush my teeth without that damn toothbrush song popping into my head...

"...but while I'm brushing my teeth and having so much fun, I never let the water run, NO, I never let the water run!"

I couldn't take it anymore.

The day Mia suggested we watch a different show was one of the happiest days of my life. YES, Mia, we can absolutely watch Max and Ruby! I LOVE that show! I love how Max only says one word throughout the entire show over and over and over again and Ruby always misunderstands him, but at the end the story comes full circle and Max's word makes total sense. Classic!

Unfortunately...the honeymoon period didn't last very long. Now it's like, "Ruby, you stupid bunny brat, just listen to Max!" I mean, Jesus, if she'd just listen to her brother her life would be a helluva lot easier...and she wouldn't waste all of that time looking for her stuff.

And don't even get me started on Dora the Explorer...
I cannot watch that show without responding to her questions like an idiot. But Mia never answers her and I just feel stupid when she stares at you with that blank look on her face waiting for you to say something...
I'm just waiting for the day when Mia turns to me and says, "Brooksie, Dora's on t.v...she can't hear you...estúpido."
The other day Dora was playing stop-and-go, and you had to say verde or rojo. So I said, "See, Mia, 'verde', that means green." and she looked right at me and said, "yeah...and red is rojo."

Now we're onto The Backyardigans and I am happy to report that we are still in the honeymoon phase. I love all of the songs they sing, they're funny, and they do these awesome choreographed dances...it's like Dancing with the Stars for toddlers!
I really think this one might be the one. I think we might make it.

Unless they sing a toothbrush song. If they sing a toothbrush song, we're done.

I'm not a babysitter...

"So, Brooks, what do you do?"
It's the question I dread almost as much as, "So, Brooks, are you seeing anyone special?"
As a single, newly graduated, 24 year old, I suppose neither is a very uncommon question...and at least the former isn't followed by, "...because I have a son/grandson/friend/neighbor/gardener who is single..."
But the answer is I am a nanny.
Depending on who I am talking to, I get a range of reactions. Sometimes I take the time to qualify my answer by explaining that I am an artist, and that until I can afford to fulfill my dream of opening my own store of local handmade things, I need a way to pay the bills. Of course, sometimes I feel like saying, "Wipe that smug look off your face, you judgmental ass, I have a BA in History, I studied art in Italy, and I started my own jewelry design business when I was 20."
But, usually I just smile and nod, because I love what I do. I've been taking care of small children since I was twelve. It's what I do. If I had a business card for nannying that I handed out to mothers, the tagline would read, "...because I've been taking care of babies longer than you have."

For the last year I've been taking care of Mia, an incredibly adorable (and extremely precocious) 2 year old. I can't tell you how many times I've been out and about with her and she is recognized. Once we were on a walk and 2 young, good looking men out jogging separately passed us and said, "hi Mia!" The child sees more action than I do. She now has a 4 month old baby sister, Lucy, and I love them both dearly.
Mia, along with the rest of the family now, calls me Brooksie. Lately I've started referring to myself as Brooksie in the third person..."Brooksie will get it," "Mia, you wait here, Brooksie will be right back," "Brooksie has to go get Lucy," "Brooksie will turn on a show for you, go sit on the couch."
Unfortunately, it has been slipping into my everyday conversations lately...I am just waiting for the day when I'm on a date and say, "You wait here, Brooksie has to go to the potty."
I have a feeling that that coupled with the fact that I have 2 car seats in my car at all times is going to do wonders for my love life.

I wonder if that gardener is still single...